I have finally made the difficult ,yet on the other hand ,quite liberating decision to let go of many of my material possessions. It feels like a lifetime of dedicated hard work that gave me the ability to attain all of my desired stuff. I have been lugging around this material weight with me since I lived in LaLa Land back in early 2000 while I was on SYTYCD. I started accumulating expensive and shiny things that seemed necessary to me during that time ,even if they only made me happy for just a fleeting moment. I continued to build my exquisite exterior surroundings and wardrobe which really only fed my ego. It felt quite appropriate during the years that my career as a choreographer was rising and seemed as though everything went hand in hand. Worldly goods have a way to make one feel like we have a certain status, when really ,our inner stats are far more important to achieve our truest fulfillment. Materialism in the moment may seem to offer the key to happiness, but in all reality, it is a false door.
The current and intense change around and within me has made me feel the necessity to release my excess worldly goods that don’t serve me or my longing for growth any longer. The weighted bricks of my previous days cannot be carried into my lighter and more radiant future. The need to start over, stay simple, stay open and stay free is very real.. I have learned that too many material possessions have a way of holding us down and pinning us to our past. Letting go of things allows us to go deeper while stripping ourselves from the outside in.. Bare to the bones, knowing and trusting that when we create room and space... answers, clarity and new beginnings will come flooding in and occupy the space where the numbness and the unknown critters used to live.
Please don’t misunderstand me.I love beautiful clothes , a beautiful home filled with beautiful objects and driving a beautiful car. The pursuit of attaining all these beautiful things is definitely enjoyable but they are all just temporary and can be gone in a blink of an eye. What remains? Myself. What I have learned is that these objects don’t make me Me...Me makes me Me. Being beautiful from the inside ... not needing to buy beautiful to be beautiful ...To just Be beautiful and shine with your own unique expression of beauty.
Never in my most creative and wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would be at such a deep and profound place of shedding in my life. I thought that owning all these things was a form of success and is what we all work to have.The American Dream within a consumerist culture. More and more joy and true fulfillment is becoming my new designer look that I seek. I believe there was a part of me that felt protected and safe hiding behind all of my material things that reflected the truth of what was ultimately missing in my life.... ME. It’s time to shed, let go and expose myself in yet another foreign and uncomfortable way.
The layers and walls that we build are not only emotional but material barricades. We build them like armor or sometimes like a daily sequined and rhinestoned costume to disguise or hide the person we have yet to meet. Letting go of all the layers so that we can be a Haute Couture Work of Art from the inside out.
I confess that I’m never not going to love beautiful things and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that... but I have now come to realize that the Kingdom of Treasures are underneath our skin and not always draped over.
Materialism is an identity crisis.... Quote by Bryant H. McGill